Degrees of cleanliness

I think I was the extreme, neurotic, clean freak psycho. Hence I look at the matter of cleanliness and clean surroundings very closely. I would be lying if I said I dont have my internal grading system for clean places and it applies to people as well. The grading is more critical when it comes to females. I give little bit of laxity to guys since its not just them to be neurotic about cleanliness. I am pretty ruthless when it comes to matter of messy spaces. Although, its become much less severe and I am decently tolerant, nowadays. This was not by choice but a realization that some people will be and they can have the right to be grossly messy just like I am the opposite. Based on my experience with all kinds of species. For convenience, I have developed my own scale from 0 to 3.

Type 0- I-really-dont-know-whats'-the-big-deal types. Yuckiest and the filthiest in the classification. Everything belongs to the floor. May it be food, book, shoes, money. Various spaces have no meaning. Grime is part of everything in use. The concept of cleaning is alien to them and under forced circumstances attempt cleaning, once a year or unless they are moving out and want to save their face. These types are prone to pests, always!

Type 1- I -would-love-to-but-then types. These ones have little shame and would act that it hurts them and support the cause while others do the cleaning. Cleaning intervals happen during festivals and some random strict guests appearances. Maintenance is zero so getting back to the riot mess is quick. These type act on unnecessary appearance of pests and would like them to be under control under manageable efforts or else blame it on life's tragedy and lack of time.

Type 2- Occasional-cleaning-does-not-hurt-me types. They will do periodic cleaning like any other things in life. Its mundane and makes me and others feel good. They are not the social outcast, which reminds me that type 0 should be...:). These type maintain somewhat logical order and follow a sane organization of things. I like these types.

Type 3- Everything-must-be-squeaky-clean types. Untidiness depresses them and they lose sense of direction in regular life if things are disarrayed. Everything has a spot and cleanliness is a religion they follow. They look down on people who keep them or their place dirty. Occasionally, they will have outburst of swallowed anger and frustration and will whine to who ever is willing to listen. They clean no matter what! Immaterial of the need to do so. They cannot sleep if things are not in order. They take pride in listening to compliments and pretend like oh so, its no big deal.

I think I used belonged to type 3 and have now somewhere moved to between 2 and 3. I am less paranoid and comfortable which probably is a good thing. It keeps me calm to maintain my serenity..:).

Vicious Generalization

Nasty argument with a co-worker led to this reflection. I was trying to explain him that there is no "western" or "eastern" philosophy and strictly "one nation" does not constitute all of western and seriously there are more nations to western bit than America to it. I did tell him "get over it, ownership of nation's success leads to stumping of personal growth." In fact, we are now marching, however slow, towards a global correct way of thinking movement. This need to own and grab is the first step towards devastation. Everything good is western or all western is good is a faulty expression. We have realized this with time. The boundaries of such demarcation are dissolving every minute. If converse was true, I would have been sitting on land of consummate, blissful nation. We all know that it may not be true. The nature and magnitude of problems vary in every scenario but they do exist in every nation.

Anyway, here is something I have believed or come to realize for a while is being reinforced by Tony Robbins in his talk here. With all the histrionics attached in his presentation he is still making some valid points and not to miss the interesting need of contributing.

Like always I astray, here is something interesting and sweet I read somewhere...

" You can imagine, then how he must have felt that soft purple twilight when his eyes first fell upon this strange creature, who seemed so quiet and gentle, yet in some way so strong, but most of all- so deep, not shallow. She gazed at him intently, not seductively or flirtatiously like all the other (girls), but clearly....and unafraid...until he felt lost in cool, green water. He returned her gaze and something happened. Later, neither of them was quite sure just what it was. They just knew it had happened."

So is money the evil?

The question is if money is evil or the excessive want of it is? Is it really bad if its treated just like a tool? It can take a person places but will not provide the drive to do it. It will provide the means to satisfaction but it will never provide the true honest desires for happiness. Money never provides happiness to a man who is unsure of what he wants. It will not facilitate code of values if he/she has skipped the learning curve of what to value. Money doesn't buy intelligence for dumb, admiration for coward/cheaters or even true respect for incompetent.

Money in its basic sense will remain an effect and will never be able to replace it for a cause. Money is produced out of virtue but never gives virtue to redeem the vices in us. does it?

Moving on to something lighter! I have been smitten by thai food for a while now and hence it reached my experiment lab of food. So I tried yellow curry straight from the recipe here. Minor adjustments, I did to match my non-vulture taste and hence replaced meat with tofu, potatoes and green bell pepper. Rest is all the same with very little tweaking. It turned out pretty decent and here is a proof of it...image quality is not the best since its taken by a phone camera but nevertheless!

Rant raving

Looks like I made it back and so did my ranting. Been out for the longest time from the blogging world and reason was health Tsunami hit me (needless to say it was the worst hit of my life). My health freak ego was hurt and took me few days to even accept it. However, some of the bloggers checked on me and I was surprised how we make connections, just about anywhere. Thanks for all the concerns!

I rarely talk too much because I am always thinking, rationalizing and pondering about the why and how. Some people misunderstand this as me being secretive. I am quiet but I am always reading, understanding and justifying the actions of mine or others. Talking of rationalizing, I have noticed that fewer people do so. Most of the time they evade to an extent beyond reality and this fear to face leads to somewhat dangerous mode of life. The harm is not always crystal clear and immediate. Having said that, to judge based on principles is not an easy task and cannot be based on hunches, feelings and finite instincts. Although we do it many times. It has to be dealt with moral ruthless rules. It is easy to state but awfully difficult to apply when it involves a character of another real person.

On a different note, I realized if we live in a world of redundancy? For example, how many of us innocently say: ATM machine..:)?

Roadrunner lifestyle

Need for speed, more work in less time, super packed days or being ultra busy are the bromides that have trickled into our regular day to day lives and we find it ubercool to use them without a second thought. So much so that someone had to notice it and write a book on it's effects that our generation is finding almost impossible to even stop and think. Well how can we, when we have trained our mind, body and soul for years to be a fit in this machine age. I, myself spend close to 15/16 hours a day in front of a computer. First thing I do when I wake up or the last thing before I hit the sack is religiously use my laptop.
Carl Honore delivered this masterpiece on his book In praise of Slowness where he is investigating this roadrunner culture which we all got sucked into. I think its good time to ask if we have the right pace or rather right quality to our lives. An eye opener may be.
Often times, during yoga class my instructors emphasize to forget the tension, worries and all kind of external concerns outside the room and just be in the (torture chamber..:)) room for 90 minutes and concentrating on your breathing and form and only yourself. Its hard sometimes. Another point they always stress is not to practice yoga for some quick results and leave all kind of performance based expectations and judgement outside. Just be at peace with yourself. It doesnt come very easily.

What can we all really do?

We ask this question a several times whenever we are hit with the frustration of current state of things as they stand and really would like to correct if possible. Sometimes muting your thinking is in most cases a breeding ground for problems. So staying clear is not the wisest thing and you have subconciously consented for playing a part in the ongoing epidemic. Its nothing but people's graceful decline to see the malaise and grope for some mystical fantasy. But for the one who is honestly seeking answers is the pure intellectual and not to get confounded with a pseudo who is just trying to get accepted in the intellegentsia. Isn't it sorry feeling that such a term even exists where right thinking is everyone's right and probably the rightful thing to do? Today, major chunk of people are acutely aware of their cultural-speculative vacuum, and yes constantly anxious, confused and groping for answers. Merely by intellectual honesty which is nothing but knowing what one knows and forever expanding knowledge and not failing to correct a contradiction/discrepancy. I see your convictions getting formed through this and once this is set in conscious and neat way and only then you are ready to communicate to others. The sincere point I make here is that do not hesitate to state that "I do not agree" if you don't. This is simply because if the person is innocent, it will help him grow but if the person is guilty it will undercut his/her confidence a great deal for the next event/action and in a way you have done your part of goodness. But do not keep silent when your ideology or values are being attacked. But my biggest concern that surfaces is to do this with all the humbleness (and I mean it) and not just to prove or win. Victory is a very transient commodity, it vaporizes before you even realize.

Randomness

Random just because I am jotting down all the random happenings in my life currently. I overcame a big giant size fear today morning and I feel like a rockstar. I paid a long overdue visit to a dentist for my root canal. It wasn't bad and I survived but its not over yet. Will have few more visits in coming days but the truth is I am not afraid and I have dealt with it very strongly. I was trying to be funny with my wisecracks just to shield my inner fear. I told the doctor, " be nice to me and I will give you candies." Not bad at all than the last time when I had sobbed and told the doctor to leave me alone. They gave me four shots as I laid down there humble and laughing.
Last Monday I finished my 8-week long Bikram Yoga challenge and guess what! I got a certificate of perseverance, solid focus and discipline from the Studio with few other gifts and of course a big round of applause from my fellow yogis.
My mind is troubled right now and I find encouraging solace in reading this speech by Steve Jobs. If you too lazy to read then hear it here but don't miss it. Sometimes, when you are honest, humble and genuine to your feelings don't let things bog you down. If need be go away and take a break to refuel and reflect in your silence. When I say genuine I mean it, because I know no other way.
I have to catch up on some reading and hence bought few books and am currently reading: Globalization and its Discontents by Joseph E. Stiglitz and looks very intriguing so far. More on the book and author here. The whole mental atmosphere is very conducive to writing a poem but I am fearing and resisting it. If I am not able to then you all will have it as next entry on blog. But yeah, this is something I coined recently:
"Just because you have it, doesnt give you the right to waste it."

Skewed definition

I always thought when you are called poor I just assumed that it's having less or no money. I was mistaken (so wrong). Money is never a constant possession and it changes hands with time. I have a different perception of poverty. To me person is poor who lacks honesty, hope, humor, passion, dedication and affection and all those good things in life. I mean if only money could do you good all the wealthy people would have been the happiest takers in this. I clearly recall the incidence of one my colleague turning millionaire overnight (lottery worth 3 million dollars). He was one of the most obnoxious soul around. He had no sense of sensibility, decorum, professionalism and people were excited that now since he has enough money he would leave. How poor is that?
It sure buys you lot of tangibles to keep the excitement of life in equilibrium but that too wears off if its not coupled with the intangibles (accomplishments, winning after a struggle, honest joys). Pretentious joys are often a burst of human tendency of seeking approval and acceptance. Paper money will come and go but its the genuine person you have turned into in this process is the only remain you have for keepsake.

Anyway,
Here is a piece of ghazal by jagjit singh (album saher):

" tere bare mein jab socha nahie tha,
main tanha tha magar itna nahie tha.
manane roothne ke khel mein hum,
bichad jayenge ye socha nahie tha."

Tail Story

I have had fairly short hair for sweet amount of time now and it has worked out just fine so far. Its low maintenance except for the fact that I have to visit the salon like once in 4/5 weeks. This time I have kinda crossed 6 weeks and my hair appears really long to me..:) and bet out of shape. So I ended up tying a pony tail kinda thing today to work and bammmm..people are asking me if I am ok? Yeahh!! I am perfectly fine (but in my head I am thinking, Supercuts here I come).. One boss came and even patted my head. I would have loved to illustrate with a pic here but I am at work and no easy access to camera you see, which also reminds me that I shouldn't be blogging at work but I have been a rebel of a sort but only once in a while.
People are not very easily susceptible to change. We condition ourselves to routine things and reach that comfortable spot where even a slight misfit creates a perturbation. Some changes come easily and some not so easily and there is this one category of changes which are just not welcome. Change is a constant variable and it shall and must happen. Life controls us or we control life is good question to ask here. At least poeple like to believe that they are controlling every aspect of it. We try this to boost our ego and reiterate to our mind for reassurance. I mean if we really controlled eachie in our life then whats' the explanation for our failures, miseries or even falling in love. Somethings you cannot plan (for everything else there is MasterCard..sorry bad joke). On the contrary, we are constantly just changing/adapting to our social, physical and emotional environment. Some reactionary instant reflex and some are purely acknowledged and rationally justified. Point here is that change does happen, some gracefully accepted with time and some are just forced for its calamitous (prob. not the best word here) disposition.
OK, I really have to go now and do my weekly work load..:). Till then stay simple and stay tuned for more.. and listen to: tere bina from Guru or patience by Gun n Roses or may be humsafar by Silk Route...

Reformists relegating religion

They have taken up this made-up issue and trying to reform society and retain the religious heritage by restraining indians from celebrating the day for lovers. Although I haven't understood about the fascination that you need a hyped up special day to tell someone what he/she means to you. The day's over glorification is partly because of the media and marketing in its shoddiest form. Although love has been the constant cultural occurence and let's not go that path to figure out if it is really so.
The point I came here to make is why such fatal fanaticism and fear and insecurity that it will sweep away the rich religion that we proudly possess. Sometimes I feel its more to do with making their presence felt. I also wonder if forcing such kind of ideology will be a long term result that handful are trying to achieve. Belief system is best in its form when it is self-dictated. We are already facing the brunt of another level of religious irrational zeal and it has not failed to reverberate time and again. We have more serious societal issues to concern ourselves with and darn wonder why aren't we channeling our energy towards real problems. Trust me there are quite a few.
Anyway,
Tough and funny and a little bit kind: that is as near to perfection as a human being can be. ~Mignon McLaughlin

Brocolli Pav bhaji

My obsession with healthy food hasn't withered as yet and hence all the experiments of the sorts described below are just one of the regular things that I keep doing. Before I go ahead and give away my latest experiment just want to let you all know that I am done with 18 days of 30 days of Bikram Yoga. I am actually very excited about it and really want to finish it. First two days were hard and I was shocked with the heat and humidity..:) but I have made peace with it..:). I dont reach out for the water or the towel in desparation and postures are just improving.
So here is the recipe for healthy pav bhaji.

Ingredients:
Brocolli, beet root, spinach, carrots, tomatoes, capsicum, onion, chillies, coriander, small quantity of pototoes, pav bhaji masala, salt, fresh lemon juice, olive oil. (Note there is no butter).
Take all the fresh (not frozen) vegetables except onion, tomatoes, chillies and coriander dice them and boil them. Once fully boiled mash them properly. Now in a separate pan take dash of olive oil and saute chopped onion, chillies once they look soft add pav bhaji masala and chopped tomatoes. Cook it for 5/7 minutes and add all the mashed veggies. Garnish it with coriander, onion and lemon and done..:).. Eat it with any kind of bread you like. I am not a big big fan of bread any more and have given up eating on regular basis for a long long time except for special occasions like these.

Abstruse vs absolute

Before I go deeper into confusing people I am suddenly very conscious of my blogging. Why? I sinned browsing my blog at home on my vacation. It left footprints on history of browser. And my not-so-geeky {at least thats what I thought..:)} sis-in-law found the link and now she is actively following my blog and so is the whole family, gosh. She checks the blog everyday, "no Shilpa I do not blog everyday..:). " Shilpa is one of the super cool person I have ever known. She is my best friend, sister, mother, fashion guru {though now we have switched spots.:)}, music guru all rolled into ONE. I am glad I have you!! And remember the rules, you don't tell daddy what I blog about and do not post any comments..:).
So moving on to something interesting that I have been thinking about.
"God grant me the serenity to accept things I cannot change, courage to change things I can, and wisdom to know the difference." The statement is fancy and its simplicity charming but to really fathom it, involves metaphysical moral issues. Lets' begin with the first part, few questions, Who is God? Going by my perception, if its that supernatural power behind all your actions (remember I did not say right or wrong) has the power to grant something like that? And accepting things you cannot change, so why did you want to change in first place (coz you sensed something wrong) and if you just accepting all the wrongs?? Doesn't sound logical to me and merely to seek escape from reality.
If you look closely there is a philosophical premise implicitly embedded in it. If there are things that man can change, it means he possesses the power of choice which is nothing but self volition. Not to miss his/her own actions and charateristics, like courage and also lack of it. Human being's volition is an characteristic of his/her consciousness (rationality) and consumes choice to percieve existence or to evade it. Once this is established, man is able to learn how things can be changed to serve his/her needs.
Something to chew on-
"The use or misuse of his congnitive faculty determines a man's choice of values, which determine his emotions and his character. It is in this sense that man is a being of self-made soul"-AR

Cut loose

It was not a conscious self made decision. I was talked into it. And now everyone involved with it are thrilled simply coz it wasn't anything bad to begin with. My friend at work has been actively into yoga. So actively into it, that she went for the certified training for it (hats off to you woman!) and ever since her return she has been convincing me. I did bluff her, like I use to about 4 months back too, with innovative responses like, too busy, work is killing me, its tough to manage, blah, blah...But her perseverance paid off at last when she offered a 30 day challenge (without missing a day) from Bikram Yoga. I simply couldn't resist and here I am doing it..with 10% completion and yes I am so going to do this folks. Its' challenging but I love it. Its 90 minutes of yoga work-out in a heated room, bout 105 degree F and killing humidity of 40%. I was unsure (like anything new you begin with) but great thing is that I could do all the postures close to perfection. I am so sore right now and negative thing is I will have to give my running a break on weekdays. But I will try and run at least once/twice a week (weekends na). The coolest thing about the 90 minute work-out is the feeling you get after finishing, it's pure bliss!! I have 27 more days to go and on an average I drink about 2.5 litres of water mainly including other fluids. Which will amount to approx. 70 litres of water intake in coming days..:)....wohhh!
Anyway, moving on to something which I haven't understood in a while, is why do people like to gossip, backbite so much so that if they do not have anything interesting in facts they like add and twist for their sensation. Its so sad they have failed to make their own life interesting so they go encroach on to other people's space. They will generate every bit of excitement (disregarding the truth) just so to prove that they have something to say at least. Its amusing to watch how two people bond due to common interest on gossip. Two very important things people should know in life: if you do not know everything bout a person doesn't naturally label him/her bad just to personify your gossip, its good to give people their space and its really really "OK" to keep quiet if do not have anything well behaved to say. More so if its just an effort for attention seeking. I tend to withdraw myself and try and have least absolutely required communication. This is only because I just do not know how to handle such people. Anything I say, do or even not say or think is portrayed and propogated in their own convenient twisted format. Been part of such damn things and its pretty low for my value system. Its a beautiful life so please do not trash it. People who do such things are complete losers for me. I really respect those people who have handled things a lot maturely than I have at times and deeply regret losing some special freinds. I just couldn't keep up to explaining and proving my honesty and loyalty of true person.

Will poverty ever become part of history?

Just before I ventured out for my mind feed, realized blogger upgraded a few things and integrated it with gmail account. Life did become bit simple. Or at least was a pretentious attempt for a momentary relief. But what would really be cool, a mind publisher kind of tool, where no manual typing is required. And will save us from carpal tunnel syndrome. Before I wander too far aimlessly, here is a really nifty gadget- iphone. Nothing less than stunning. I had grand plans of not oggling at gadgets. But its simply irresistible and I am not to be blamed. Go take a peek at it yourself if you don't trust me.
Anyway, what I really wanted to understand or know if poverty be marrying history ever. Or is it always going to be a mere oh so current battle by a handful for the marginalized. Interesting questions to ask would be "is it because it's always a small set of folks who see it and actually do/doing something about it?" or "why hasn't it become a mass movement?" Well on a less philanthropic quest have we ever tried to find what is poverty, what are its causes, who are the players and when we provide so called sustainable solutions, do we measure their successes. To me the successful solution would be when they will be part of production system of goods (tangible and intangible) which are useful to general mass not just the elite class who is using it as a favor. It has to go beyond favor to a solution which is scalable without missing the social and financial benefits for the investors or the "poor people." My point here being that philanthropic funds will be required to initiate the movement but it won't be the only thing. Enterprising solutions like hole in the wall or grameen for that matter where the end users are putting the thinking cap and finding the solutions on their own and not merely provided with set solutions to follow.

Leavin on a Jet Plane

All those who visit here often and generously leave comments and make this space lively. This blog shop will be closed for a vacation for a short time. The blogger is on vacation for few days. I will be back soon and till then...

Be brave, expressive and communicative rather than being a

wuss and non-communicative. Reach out!!

And of course listen to the song Leavin on a jet plane by (no not John Denver) Chantal Kreviazuk version, its a lot better.

Snack Thingie

I wanted to make some snack. I decided to make sabuddee vadai! Yeah I know, its sabudana but I prefer calling sabuddee ( I have my reasons..). I dunno why it was so funny for some people when I said I am gonna cook. So funny that they chuckled and had some strong reactions. Anyway, here is a picture of it as a proof ! And if thats not enuf I wish they had tasted some of it. Well life is full of regrets..:). I guess some people are better off only prod%^@!*# HW or something to that effect..:P.



Anyway, moving on, I discovered this song called Bin tere kya jeena from the movie Guru. All I can say is that its totally blown and I am awe struck. Its the Rehman effect which makes it completely worth it. I have been listening to it for a long time now or at least it seems like or at least I want to feel like that..:). So the point is I strongly recommend this one since it definitely belongs to the goosebumpy category of songs.
So hum along and enjoy this marvel:

O humdum bin tere kya jeena..
tere bina beswadi beswadi ratiya oh sajana ho
rukhi re rukhi kato re kate na ratiya
tere bina beswadi beswadi ratiya
ho ho ho o o o
bhigi bhigi beswadi ratiya o sajana
tere bina kya jeena
tere bina tere bina
chand ka sona khota re
tere bina sona peetal tere sang peetar peepal
aaja kate na ratiya o humdum!!

I know these are not the complete lyrics but I put together the lines which I liked!!

Rambling, yet again

Its not that I have to pen something here but sometimes I want to even though I have no specific direction. At this very moment too I have series of mixed feelings going on in my mind. Its' a mixed bag of achievement, satisfaction, peace, enthusiasm, reasoning, restlessness, longing and loss. But my guess would be it's not something unique thing for only me or least I would like to feel that I have company. But again its just me and its just a guess. I can be wrong. I stumbled on this poem by Max Ehrmann, read it and its simplicity will sweep you off your feet:

Desiderata
Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons,
they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.

Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs;
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment
it is as perennial as the grass. (Its so true!)

Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.

You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.
-------------------------
Did it? Stunning! Anyway, I have been listening to Melissa Etheridge lately and she is just so marvelous! Current favorite:

Come on baby lets get out of this town
I got a full tank of gas with the top rolled down
Theres a chill in my bones
I dont want to be left alone
So baby you can sleep while I drive
Ill pack my bag and load up my guitar
In my pocket Ill carry my harp
I got some money I saved
Enough to get underway
And baby you can sleep while I drive

and so on.......

Emotional ride

We as human beings are driven by variety of emotions. Sweet, sometimes not so sweet. Its' surely complex and certainly there is no well secured and universally systemized definition. Although scientifically speaking and for practical purposes we can all concur that emotion is an intense neural impulse produced state controlled by brain. Before I go on I would like to narrate a short instance that happened with me couple of weeks. It happened during one of my regular weekly visits to temple. Mind you, I don't go to temple to ask for anything or for anything to happen. For me its something I get inner peace and it embraces me with tranquility and powerful feeling of reassurance for my correct actions. So if I miss a trip there, I know God will not bestow bad on me...:). I disagree with people who go to such places out of fear and expecting things to happens just because they pleaded. Anyway, before I digress since I tend to do that a lot.
It must have been early evening on a sunday and there aren't too many people at that time of the day. As I entered the temple I saw just one young lady sitting in the center of the room. She looked fairly young, attractive, educated and may be married I guess. I as usual walked in surveyed the place and about to comfortably sit. Next thing I percieve is that this young woman is weeping and with tears rolling down endlessly. I tried not look at her just so she doesn't get conscious of my presence and get interrupted in this emotional process. I did try to pretend as if am unaware. But like most of us do, hide our emotions and keep them under multiple layers of anonymity, she was also trying to do same and I could feel that she was afraid and ashamed that some stranger saw her turmoil. I wanted to leave her alone and not make her feel more public and judged. But I couldn't go. I wanted to reassure her that whatever has caused this will soon go and it will be brighter times tomorrow. Of course I could n't say all this but I did sit next to her for a short time gave her friendly pat and was genuinely sorry for whatever she was going through (God bless her). She clarified that it doesn't happen often and that was just once! Disappoinment with friends, failing relationship, loss of something precious or professional mishap, it could have been anything.
So when emotions are such integral part of our existence why do we try and control them, restrict them and manipulate them? Emotions not only help you in personal life but they do significantly contribute to your professional life. Successful leaders are not mechanical, non-emotive, ruthless human beings. In fact, they are the highly emotional, intelligent and analytical folks. I strongly suggest this book which I read a while back called Emotional Intelligence by Dan Goleman. Leading a team sucessfully for a project of any magnitude is not a mathematical equation. Successful management is often a product of commitment of each contributors with their best efforts which is led by a highly emotionally charged leader. I have often seen this in my boss. He is passionate, emotive, dedicated and when he talks about work, he pledges only quality work. No wonder he owns a company which is very dynamic and successful and acheived country-wide recognition in its specialization.
Emotions probably are one of those non-verbal communications which often formulate your decision-making which could be either short-term or long-term. So if they play such a role then why defy their presence?

My beloved monster

Past couple of days I have been listening to Shrek soundtrack. Almost all the songs from this movie are absolutely kickass. Shrek has been my favorite movie and not just because its animated but also for the message it conveyed. Its a story about true friendship (donkey and shrek), love (princess fiona n shrek) and victory (shrek over farquad). Its one of those classy movies who have lot of style in almost everything, be it music, characters (donkey being my favorite and greatest work by eddie murphy), and whole screenplay intertwined together. I have cried in this movie..:).. when shrek reveals- "everyone judges him even before they know him." Anyway, if you haven't heard shrek music yet, I would strongly recommend it. Especially songs- bad reputation, my beloved monster, stay home and I am on my way are just totally worth it.

Here is something nice I read its from the movie - akheelah and the bee: Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.

Bittersweet life

I recently begun running regularly. After trying it for few days, I just decided to set up a target of 4 miles and wished to achieve it. I mostly run on weekends and had kept a time frame of one month. I did this with an increment of half a mile and sometimes one mile. It wasn't easy simply because I tend to take a break from my exercise for months and it takes hell of a discipline to get back to it. Anyway, while I have been pretty enthusiastic and actually look forward to weekends just for this. Last thursday, I realized since I am so close (at 3.5 miles) to my target, why not go try, JUST DO IT! I must have given up several times but haven't been much of a quitter, I kept going. I don't know how many of you do this but I modulate my speed several times. I did finish my 4 miles target in 58.12 minutes. I didn't feel my legs existed for some time. But yey!
While walking back to my car and trying to regain my sense in legs I was celebrating my small, tiny victory. As I reach the car, I see some papery thing stuck to wipers...:). Yeah thats right I have been ticketed for parking in visitor's parking which I used to think is free. Sometimes, I think ASU and God have wierd sense of humor..:). Nevermind.
Anyway, been reading a lot lately which include book and several blogs and articles. Book Never eat alone by Keith Ferrazi has some interesting views on how to leverage networking and build a successful trusted set of friends. Another interesting read, I stumbled on this blog where the fellow blogger has painted a very simple picture of his expectations of love Its very simplicity is very beautiful. Well done!
I read somewhere that sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick (it sure does) and you loose every bit of faith in life. You will be devastated and will hit the ground. Your life will be shattered to innumerable pieces where you would feel its hard to put them all together. Don't give up and keep the faith. If you survive this you will emerge as one helluva strong and wiser person and life will never be the same again.
Random act: When things/acts do not make sense to me in very logical and rational mode and it ranges from surroundings and people, I tend to go to my shell and live a secluded life.