She made her decision known, quietly, confidently and with little doubt. I heard it all and I was aware of her analysis that had gone behind making that strong statement. I was neither surprised nor shocked. It was not an enlightenment but a reaffirmation of those feelings which as an Indian girl we all have tucked just below our throats which we all bring it up with little goading. It’s that uncomfortable truth which some of us had a chance to escape while others have submitted to with silent resignation.
My friend, whom I met after couple of years and within few minutes of giggling and reminiscing of old graduate school days, mentioned in a subtle serious tone, that as a mature girl, she would not want to spend her youth years in any Indian city. Not by choice, at least!
She, who has traveled a many countries and had a chance to live in few other countries other than India. I was sure, she wasn't referring to materialistic pleasures, financial security or anything that we might label as developed countries privileges. She was talking about the freedom to breathe as a human being minus the constant reminder that she is one of those with only X-chromosomes constriction which comes with life of constant battle with social fabric and its tailored suffocation. To cut and sew to adapt when there are those leering threats, maneuvering of paths to avoid being touched or groped or just whistling which has perfection of melodious pitch and cat-calling comparison to Bollywood goddesses. Which Indian girl is not familiar with naughty remarks, "Arre dekh Kareena ja rahi hai," or "yeh dekh Sushmita Sen aa rahi hai be?" Humiliation which makes her yearn to run and abandon the public spaces. This disrespect to Indian women reminds me of respect Indians give to their traffic lights and regulations, it's just like given (or actually not) to objects which deserve no recognition or respect.
She was talking about security of walking on the streets and public transit without a reminder that she is only at the mercy of chosen respect by men. She was talking about safety in public places and not just from physical threats and freedom to work late at nights because she can have a deadline too. She was talking about the life in which where you do not become comfortable just only adjusting and adapting because the men have rotten minds. She was talking about normalcy of doing things, the way she wants and any time of the day, any place she wanted without any humiliation that comes as a package deal in her lovable country. Love to the country which is like love for your parents with whom you disagree completely in ideologies but yearn for them because you belong to them.
I wish her luck for her decisions and I wish the same things for me too. Sigh!
My friend, whom I met after couple of years and within few minutes of giggling and reminiscing of old graduate school days, mentioned in a subtle serious tone, that as a mature girl, she would not want to spend her youth years in any Indian city. Not by choice, at least!
She, who has traveled a many countries and had a chance to live in few other countries other than India. I was sure, she wasn't referring to materialistic pleasures, financial security or anything that we might label as developed countries privileges. She was talking about the freedom to breathe as a human being minus the constant reminder that she is one of those with only X-chromosomes constriction which comes with life of constant battle with social fabric and its tailored suffocation. To cut and sew to adapt when there are those leering threats, maneuvering of paths to avoid being touched or groped or just whistling which has perfection of melodious pitch and cat-calling comparison to Bollywood goddesses. Which Indian girl is not familiar with naughty remarks, "Arre dekh Kareena ja rahi hai," or "yeh dekh Sushmita Sen aa rahi hai be?" Humiliation which makes her yearn to run and abandon the public spaces. This disrespect to Indian women reminds me of respect Indians give to their traffic lights and regulations, it's just like given (or actually not) to objects which deserve no recognition or respect.
She was talking about security of walking on the streets and public transit without a reminder that she is only at the mercy of chosen respect by men. She was talking about safety in public places and not just from physical threats and freedom to work late at nights because she can have a deadline too. She was talking about the life in which where you do not become comfortable just only adjusting and adapting because the men have rotten minds. She was talking about normalcy of doing things, the way she wants and any time of the day, any place she wanted without any humiliation that comes as a package deal in her lovable country. Love to the country which is like love for your parents with whom you disagree completely in ideologies but yearn for them because you belong to them.
I wish her luck for her decisions and I wish the same things for me too. Sigh!
1 comment:
You highlight a good point about the safety of women in India. Not just the extremes that cities like Delhi represents, but the day in day out behavior on the streets.
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