I can recall a small anecdote which later urged me to dissect and understand the way we learn and teach others about trust. It happened a few months back as I was driving back from some place I don't recall now. I was few blocks away from the apartment and couldn't miss noticing few Indian students (FOB) carrying heavily loaded grocery bags and walking in the same direction as me. The very first reaction for me was to reminisce my own school days of hardship. Second, was of urge to help and think I might just give them a ride and it will save them from the plight full of hot weather and heavy duty grocery lugging. So not thinking much further, I went ahead and turned right and pulled over. I went out and asked them, I can give you girls a ride? Their reaction was instantaneous and a no, (but thanks)! I should have known. I first thought, did I offend them? I put myself in their shoes and realized I would have done the exact same thing.
We are brought up learning not to trust strangers. In due set of experience in life we learn to not believe/trust very easily. This could be based plainly on experiences of our own or others close to our surrounding. This is not to deny that there isn't anything bad out there but what really happens in the process? We suspect more and trust less and the even the pure good has to go through the test of time. If someone is being really nice you question their intentions and motives. We often think that so much goodness cannot be selfless. How do you judge or sift through other people's actions or you don't? Should we live the cautious, defensive way? Society is often a reflection of our own distilled thoughts and actions and if we want the utopian society(if such is a possibility) possible where and how should we begin?
We are brought up learning not to trust strangers. In due set of experience in life we learn to not believe/trust very easily. This could be based plainly on experiences of our own or others close to our surrounding. This is not to deny that there isn't anything bad out there but what really happens in the process? We suspect more and trust less and the even the pure good has to go through the test of time. If someone is being really nice you question their intentions and motives. We often think that so much goodness cannot be selfless. How do you judge or sift through other people's actions or you don't? Should we live the cautious, defensive way? Society is often a reflection of our own distilled thoughts and actions and if we want the utopian society(if such is a possibility) possible where and how should we begin?
7 comments:
I have so much to say about this aspect? But coming to think of it all, its just that every human being is a hypocrite and there are 2 sets of rules, one for self and one for others. So the behavior which each one of us display is essentially being selfish at all points. So thats why we do not trust each other.
Interesting point. I think it ultimately boils down to judgement, and past experiences. Maybe you took the risk of trusting someone unknown and were suitably rewarded, and other occassions were badly burnt. And lastly, your confidence in yourself to handle what comes allows you to take bigger risks.
I don't quite understood their reaction. If they are girls and you are a girl, I would've assumed they would take it. What's wrong with them?
But I unfortunately do believe that we should live with caution. If I am walking down the street and some guy asks if I need a ride I would say 'no thank you'.
By the way, I probably walked with loaded grocery bags tons of times on the exact same road as you are mentioning to the same apartments in Tempe near ASU. Not one time did a pretty girl stop and asked me if I wanted a ride. I would've totally take it :)
Irrespective how others react...its a good gesture!...n these things always make u feel good even after yrs...! if not atleast u get the satisfaction that "I tried!"
Thats interesting... and I agree with both Twisted DNA and Bharat's comments. We were offered a lift by one guy in a car about a month back over here, and we gladly accepted the lift.
Maybe it has also got something to do with the fact about being guys or girls. 3 guys going together laden with bags will probably take a lift from anyone -- guy or gal... but for girls it may be different. P.S. - DO you really look scary? :D
Nice post. :)
aesopz fables never did drill anything in2 us and the lanes n bylanes of life aint so easy to negotiate.. the complexes of life have just made things so much clotted... expectations great or simple understandings... nothing can be questioned... all are like the residues of life governed by an illogic of sorts :)
wat i ahve learnt from life... is that trust is made to be broken n faith is the most abused of emotions... but then i aint changed,, i wud have taken the ride with u... given u a smile.. asked u for a coffee also... life is too short, for complicationx,,, free mind... liberated soul..
the- i dont agree with your statement of every being is a hypocrite.
parth- yes, i think you are right we always judge from or of other's exp. and thats why i said i would have refused for a ride myself to a stranger.
twisted- the keyword you are missing is "stranger".
bharat- the point is that action was not to make myself feel good..its sad if these random acts are reduced to just "feel good" actions.
sudipta-yes!! now i know why they refused..:).coz i look scary..:).
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