We as human beings are driven by variety of emotions. Sweet, sometimes not so sweet. Its' surely complex and certainly there is no well secured and universally systemized definition. Although scientifically speaking and for practical purposes we can all concur that emotion is an intense neural impulse produced state controlled by brain. Before I go on I would like to narrate a short instance that happened with me couple of weeks. It happened during one of my regular weekly visits to temple. Mind you, I don't go to temple to ask for anything or for anything to happen. For me its something I get inner peace and it embraces me with tranquility and powerful feeling of reassurance for my correct actions. So if I miss a trip there, I know God will not bestow bad on me...:). I disagree with people who go to such places out of fear and expecting things to happens just because they pleaded. Anyway, before I digress since I tend to do that a lot.
It must have been early evening on a sunday and there aren't too many people at that time of the day. As I entered the temple I saw just one young lady sitting in the center of the room. She looked fairly young, attractive, educated and may be married I guess. I as usual walked in surveyed the place and about to comfortably sit. Next thing I percieve is that this young woman is weeping and with tears rolling down endlessly. I tried not look at her just so she doesn't get conscious of my presence and get interrupted in this emotional process. I did try to pretend as if am unaware. But like most of us do, hide our emotions and keep them under multiple layers of anonymity, she was also trying to do same and I could feel that she was afraid and ashamed that some stranger saw her turmoil. I wanted to leave her alone and not make her feel more public and judged. But I couldn't go. I wanted to reassure her that whatever has caused this will soon go and it will be brighter times tomorrow. Of course I could n't say all this but I did sit next to her for a short time gave her friendly pat and was genuinely sorry for whatever she was going through (God bless her). She clarified that it doesn't happen often and that was just once! Disappoinment with friends, failing relationship, loss of something precious or professional mishap, it could have been anything.
So when emotions are such integral part of our existence why do we try and control them, restrict them and manipulate them? Emotions not only help you in personal life but they do significantly contribute to your professional life. Successful leaders are not mechanical, non-emotive, ruthless human beings. In fact, they are the highly emotional, intelligent and analytical folks. I strongly suggest this book which I read a while back called Emotional Intelligence by Dan Goleman. Leading a team sucessfully for a project of any magnitude is not a mathematical equation. Successful management is often a product of commitment of each contributors with their best efforts which is led by a highly emotionally charged leader. I have often seen this in my boss. He is passionate, emotive, dedicated and when he talks about work, he pledges only quality work. No wonder he owns a company which is very dynamic and successful and acheived country-wide recognition in its specialization.
Emotions probably are one of those non-verbal communications which often formulate your decision-making which could be either short-term or long-term. So if they play such a role then why defy their presence?
It must have been early evening on a sunday and there aren't too many people at that time of the day. As I entered the temple I saw just one young lady sitting in the center of the room. She looked fairly young, attractive, educated and may be married I guess. I as usual walked in surveyed the place and about to comfortably sit. Next thing I percieve is that this young woman is weeping and with tears rolling down endlessly. I tried not look at her just so she doesn't get conscious of my presence and get interrupted in this emotional process. I did try to pretend as if am unaware. But like most of us do, hide our emotions and keep them under multiple layers of anonymity, she was also trying to do same and I could feel that she was afraid and ashamed that some stranger saw her turmoil. I wanted to leave her alone and not make her feel more public and judged. But I couldn't go. I wanted to reassure her that whatever has caused this will soon go and it will be brighter times tomorrow. Of course I could n't say all this but I did sit next to her for a short time gave her friendly pat and was genuinely sorry for whatever she was going through (God bless her). She clarified that it doesn't happen often and that was just once! Disappoinment with friends, failing relationship, loss of something precious or professional mishap, it could have been anything.
So when emotions are such integral part of our existence why do we try and control them, restrict them and manipulate them? Emotions not only help you in personal life but they do significantly contribute to your professional life. Successful leaders are not mechanical, non-emotive, ruthless human beings. In fact, they are the highly emotional, intelligent and analytical folks. I strongly suggest this book which I read a while back called Emotional Intelligence by Dan Goleman. Leading a team sucessfully for a project of any magnitude is not a mathematical equation. Successful management is often a product of commitment of each contributors with their best efforts which is led by a highly emotionally charged leader. I have often seen this in my boss. He is passionate, emotive, dedicated and when he talks about work, he pledges only quality work. No wonder he owns a company which is very dynamic and successful and acheived country-wide recognition in its specialization.
Emotions probably are one of those non-verbal communications which often formulate your decision-making which could be either short-term or long-term. So if they play such a role then why defy their presence?
12 comments:
Yes pallavi! I totally agree with you. Without emotion we dont pursue stuff we want to. Be it our everyday work...Be it once in a life time opportunity!....its all abt feeling before and after doing it...
May be because emotions are portals to our weaker side and we are scared of allowing people to enter there. It is like letting everyone aware of your weakness and what can get you excited, sad, happy, down, angry....
I agree with M, It does show our weaker side and we are afraid to share with strangers.. Just like I was emotional, wrote a post on my blog & still feeling kind of guilty, even though its my blog, I personaly don't know people(Ok beside 10 friends) still I feel bad..
I don't think I agree with the statement that great leaders are very emotional. I think they are passionate about their beliefs. But when is time to make decisions, I've seen top leaders working very clinically towards a decision, without attaching much emotions to them.
May be we both witnessed different situations that made us form different impressions
Its quite easy to become manipulative of a person whose inner thought processes are exposed, the listener if not rightly empathetic migtht actually think of it as having a handle on the vulnerable person. I think people are just trying to protect themselves thus, and its ok to wait as long needed to test a person's intentions before revealing oneself.
i think it just is so much easier sometimes to just let it be, to not admit to anyhting because owning up to an emotion can lead to consequences that sometimes one is just not ready for...
ok, we control emotions bcs otherwise, emotions might control us.. and that may not be a gud idea..
Firstly a lot of interesting & thoughtful reactions...thank you guys!
Bharat- Yes I totally agree with you!
m(tread)-yes sometimes they do. But emotions can be very strong too. And why should we cover what gets us excited, sad etc. Knowing better about a person will only help.
mommy-It does. But we are afraid bcoz we might get judged.
twisted- I completely agree that decision are not made by emotions. But your beliefs and value system are. Tell me how many great leaders or key people were a product of simple, comfortable and no-challenge life? And I dunno why do we associate emotions to only negative side!!
shree-I agree. But I see this as more of a person who is manipulating as problem and not who has made his/her emotions public. Although it shud be done with volition and not for attention. Smart/evolved people discern such things.
Pers- Yeah it is a lot easier to let it be covered.
how do- We don't really control emotions, its emotions controlling us all the time. We can only keep it secret but we would still be going thru those emotions.
@ TD : But tell me one thing..isn't passion also an emotion?? The more emotional and passionate we are, the more will be the input and quality of work we will put in the project or whatever we are working at, and the output, then, definately will be of higher standards...
So life is all about emotions..yes, we try to hide the weaker passions for whatsoever reasons...but they sure do exist in all of us!
I guess people dont portray their emotions publicly, or tend to hide them because, it is what you truly are . They reflect your "honest self" so to speak. And sometimes we are not comfortable with our own honest selves , leave alone what the world may think with it.
So I see this beautiful woman and I'm lusting for her at that very moment, its probably best to control that emotion ..i'm sure everyone agrees here, maybe a few wont :-)
Next hour, I see a kid begging on the street, and I feel like crying on his state, what should I do then? Should i let out that emotion? should i hold it back...do i really have a choice? No easy answers.
Its not easy for humans to draw boundaries where to show and where not to show emotions, cuz by definition that is a rational decision and not an emotional one.
So, I guess we all decide on a sweeping one guiding principle as to how we will deal with all of our emotions ...and we apply that to ourselves...not the ideal scenario, but it is most practical I guess.
On a sidenote, I got to read this book "Emotional Intelligence", been recommended time and again to me.
Nipun- Firstly u call this a comment? Its sounds more like a post in itself..:). Anyway on a serious note,if we are not comfortable with our honest self than we really have bit of work to do. Lust/greed etc. are cheap emotions and they need to be checked coz deep down you know its only temporary and will have repercussions affecting one or many people. Its a very subjective topic and I can really go on!and EI is a great book.
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