The ugliness of the Indian male

I had first read on Hari's blog, a forthright confirmation about atypical habits which are typical to genre of Indian males. It was a nudge to my deeper observations which I had conveniently never made a fuss about, never mind if they had made me uncomfortable. And then, about a week back, on South Asian literature mailing list (which goes by SASIALIT) there was a furor over an article by same Mukul Kesavan, The Ugly Indian Man - Of hygiene, hair and horrible habits. Needless to say, there were some angry email exchange by Indian men and the rebel was quite evident. Rightfully and quite understandably so. Many of them were offended and there were voices of rebel to discontinue the discussion. One gentleman also said,

"As an Indian male I am deeply offended at this kind of hate-mongering.
Indianmaleophobia is what it is. Moderators, over here, if you please!"

Recently, I was on a flight to Singapore, 18-long hours flight which I had dreaded from the beginning. But Singapore airlines had me impressed right from the beginning with their hospitality, provision of comfort and attention to little details. I think, the food was a little excessive for me and I could barely eat one-fourth of what they provided but after a couple of times, I realized it would just be safer for me to decline rest of the meals and snacks, until I felt hungry again. However, after 12 hours of flight there was a stop for fueling at Incheon, a place I had never heard of before. But this 40 minutes pit-stop led to shuffling of passengers. After I returned, I had an Indian male neighbor for my remaining 6 hours leg. What the heck did I know, what a replacement this would turn out to be.

This person was probably in his late 30s or early 40s, slightly pudgy with salt and pepper hair. His casualness was noticeable. He had flung his shoes aside as soon as he had plonked in to seat, tore open the blanket plastic cover with a sense of immediacy and covered himself as he reclined casually stretching his legs under his front seat. He grabbed the remote device immediately and fiddled with it until he settled down for the movie of his choice. Quite understandable that utmost comfort can be critical on journeys like these.

Within few minutes into the movie, with remote in his one hand, this man was industriously digging into his nose, alternating between left and right nostrils. My red flag antenna was on high alert from then on. After all, I had written confirmations and self observations to back my aghast internal (so far) reaction. I knew that this hard work of index finger is a danger in my vicinity.

"When you think of where they put those nails, this is not surprising. I’ve seen respectable men conducting conversations with their index fingers two digits deep in their nostrils, digging with industrial enthusiasm. If you ever see a desi man delicately rubbing the tip of his index over the pad of his thumb, beware. Don’t do near him: he’s rolling the bogies he’s mined into little balls."

This called for my pretentious patient demeanor to react and soon. So I did! I gave him some serious angry looks but I should have known that the man is too comfortable and oblivious to his surroundings. I was suddenly very conscious of my lack of access to freedom in that belted seat. I was helpless and trepid of my confinement. I immediately mumbled, "this is disgusting"! I was gleeful that he heard. But he did not stop right away, his fingers would reach out to nose and then he would brush it off gently with his thumb and index finger and end it with a sniff. I did not give up and obviously could not sleep for rest of my journey. I calculated in my head that uncomfortable alert wakefulness is a safer proposition than oblivious sleep which can lead to infliction of dreadful habits of Indian male neighbor.

Hello from Singapore!

Mediocrity

How do we justify mediocrity? Process of learning, acceptable sub-standard way of thinking, rejection to first-handed way of subliminal possibilities and thinking, wholehearted acceptance to below average ways?

Can manipulation be labeled mediocre? Does explicitness of shameless mediocre actions qualify for better preparedness or implicit-but-can-be-spotted-mediocre actions qualify for sophisticated way to some esoteric elitism?

Mediocrity is a dangerous premise and I have seen it very closely in known and somewhat known faces. Close enough to know that it is mediocre thinking which has translated into mediocre actions. I have experienced this in professional environment, volunteer work (seemingly noblest intentions), personal life, friends and acquaintances. It's stealthy presence leaves me troubled, every time. People being comfortable with mediocrity makes me uncomfortable. It makes me nervous, so very nervous!

If, anytime, you hear somebody saying in callous demeanor, "but that is how it has been happening for a long time," watch out for degraded collective wisdom in calling to accept and refusal to think!

...

Jaage Hain.mp3

"aadhe adhoore khwaab jo,

poore na ho sake,

ikbar fir se neend mein,

woh khwaab hone do."

Beautiful song with beautiful lyrics! This is not to say, that, I have forgotten about my most(est) favorite gem. But this just fits my current mood just a little better.

Watch it...

...it's a bitchy rant!

I got super annoyed with this. I don't follow it but stumbled a few days back and couldn't resist making my point. If you wonder why, read the rest. I don't dislike things without a reason. Firstly, I have no idea why nowadays every possible celebrity wants to join this bandwagon of blogs. You really don't have to! It's not uncool if you don't have a blog. But it's uncool if you present garbage which is loud and desperate for attention. Quite like the way he always liked hogging all the attention, AB, and is his name. Didn't you get enough attention already Mr.B, from the nation which featured you in its poverty parade of recent times as well? I am referring to Slumdog Millionaire. If I were you, I would be ashamed than anything else of the fact that a kid did what he did in the movie for your picture. It's rather a sad symbolism of deprived existence and presented in layers of fantasies and promises, through the lens of Bollywood. But that's not your fault entirely.

Forget your acting skills for now, and let's just analyze your blog quality bit by bit, disaster by disaster, feature by feature. One, do you really think people need to look at your loud close-up picture first and be forced to scroll up & down to hunt for some meaningful content? Flicking your father's poem to decorate it on your blog is in cheap taste, imho, because such things can be done and should be on a personal website, no? Then comes the content part, do you really think its important to have an everyday log? who reads that kind of royal shit? As a mature adult, you can contribute meaningfully or just be quiet. It's about time you figured that its about quality and not about quantity. I quickly glanced through and couldn't figure out anything that made any sense. You hog everything that came your way, whether it was acting, singing, anchoring, clowning. There was no thinking time, sifting time given and it showed in everything you did.

Nation got tired of you but you haven't tired yourself of giving garbage to the nation. For the little good work we can talk about, here is what I have to say. If you worked on million things, chances of one, two or three being somewhat successful is highly likely.

Be good and Keep the promise of appreciating sanity!

Effective efforts

I had written this, below email (last year) to set of people, of my impression (as a woman) and categorization of various potential heinous things that women may face in their life.

Hi A,

Thanks for putting this together! You have captured the essential purpose of this conference session and intention with it was triggered to begin with. If you notice, there are just so many issues of varied seriousness, be it regular day to today life instances, to trivial matter like using guys instead of folks, or more grave issues of molestations to rape. And since the session did not come out with tangible concrete action items to go home with, it cannot be labeled as faulty. Issue by itself is so diverse and knotty that we do need to focus on problem by problem from accepting if its a problem first to if there are healing steps required. But with due respect to everyone's consciousness, we do need to focus first on absolutely necessary harmful issues which are beyond the "gotcha" aha moments.

One such discussion I had with V (during conference) on existence of prostitution business in our "society." When people say existence of flesh business is acceptable for safer societies for women. So essentially are we sacrificing few women for greater common good? Is that something they are doing willingly? Is it the money lure (blinding by not providing the choice of other alternatives)? If it is a healthy component to the society then why it is not a mainstream profession and why not advocated to every woman. My gut feeling is no woman will or doing this by choice. Its either force, trick or difficult financial circumstances. Hence, I do not agree with that argument at all. highest degree...


Next is molestation, rape where affected women are damaged beyond inexplicable impacts. Even though for a moment we accept that we make it socially acceptable and men are more open towards accepting the victims, but are they not scarred and battered at a deeper level? Almost all the stories that we heard in the email, there was one element very common, shame, guilt, deep hurt (even though none of them asked for it). None were rape experiences in those but any kind of physical intrusion left them seriously hurt. How did the guilt get formed to girl child of age as early as 7/8 years old. Is it instinct or? higher degree...

Next is cat-calling or eve-teasing etc..these are instances where women are affected at a more superficial level and their physical self is not intruded by strangers. I got talking to my American friends here about this issues and idea of eve-teasing is almost non-existent. It will be interesting to find why it is such a big crisis in India.Is it suppression of guys feelings, upbringing, lack of proper education, lack of co-eds, sex education? These might be bit easier to deal with. I know, I am making a big assumption here. Please chime in. Medium level...

Next is issues related to our everyday lives, why were women made to learn cooking and guys taught not to cry etc...list is long here. But having said this, these are deep rooted, well fed from childhood practices/biases etc. How harmful can they be or are? Once we assess that we can address those as they come. Low level...


Some of you may feel that one is more harmful than the other. Agreed. This is very subjective. I merely listed all these for convenience and since we cannot adopt the same approach to all the problems. But we need to identify the gravity of issue individually and tackle one at a time. I think we have been pretty successful in introducing the topic in general. Now we need to find our focus and work towards one problem at a time.

My 2 cents.
Pallavi

Today, morning I read about this.

According to the Justice Department, 1 in 3 Native American women will be raped in her lifetime. Tribal leaders say predators believe Native American land is almost a free-for-all, where no law enforcement can touch them.

It got me wondering if just tightening the federal efforts is the solution to eradicate this problem.

The federal government has recently announced plans to spend hundreds of millions of dollars to improve medical clinics, buy more rape kits and bolster the police response to what authorities say is an epidemic of rapes on Indian land.

I personally don't think so! It will empower women and grant access to justice but they seem like prescriptive reactionary steps after the deed is done. What prescriptive steps are we formulating where physical assaults do not even occur in perpetrator's mind? What can we introduce in our formal or informal education or methods of social interactions that aggressive mindset is dealt with, to avoid destructive attacks, altogether?

We met...

(jab)...no, it was Jab we met. Either way you look at it. They met, they were chasing different things in that same moment of time. But meeting was just a customary assurance. One had realized faster than the other. Until they both realize the same thing, at the same time, they were on some circuitous path. But in this timeless land, time was just a matter of time for them. Isn't it? And if everything had to happen on time then chance would not get to have its fun.

Such was the theme of movie Jab we met. I was pleasantly surprised by this movie, by its simplicity and Kareena's acting. It was a treat! She, sometimes really does such a remarkable job. I felt the same about her talent as an actress in the movie, Omkara.

I like this song from We met jab, not really, it's Jab we met. Beautiful lyrics, sung by Ustad Rashid Khan rendered with his soothing voice.

Aaoge Jab Tum.mp3

I like this song too from the movie, Tum se hi, sung by Mohit Chauhan of Silk Route fame. That reminds me of another really really wonderful song called humsafar by them. Shoot! Now, I am fully distracted!..:)

...

I am a little short on time hence a filler (like) post on various quotes that I stumbled on, in past few days. I find them quite powerful or interesting, so sharing it here.

These, I stumbled on while reading through the history of feminist movement:

This is no simple reform. It really is a revolution. Sex and race because they are easy and visible differences have been the primary ways of organizing human beings into superior and inferior groups and into the cheap labour in which this system still depends. We are talking about a society in which there will be no roles other than those chosen or those earned. We are really talking about humanism. ~ Gloria Steinem

We know that we can do what men can do, but we still don't know that men can do what women can do. That's absolutely crucial. We can't go on doing two jobs. ~ Gloria Steinem
( I like this one for her passive humorous tone)

But the problem is that when I go around and speak on campuses, I still don't get young men standing up and saying, 'How can I combine career and family? ~ Gloria Steinem

Isn't that the problem? That women have been swindled for centuries into substituting adornment for love, fashion (as it were) for passion? ~Erica Jong

Many beautiful women have been made happy by their own beauty, but no intelligent woman has ever been made happy by her own intelligence. ~Mignon McLaughlin

If all men are born free, how is it that all women are born slaves? ~Mary Astell

Some of us are becoming the men we wanted to marry. ~Gloria Steinem

*******

And these are plain wise words from a man I truly admire, Barack Obama:

Focusing your life solely on making a buck shows a poverty of ambition. It asks too little of yourself. And it will leave you unfulfilled.

It's only when you hitch your wagon to something larger than yourself that you will realize your true potential.

If we aren't willing to pay a price for our values, then we should ask ourselves whether we truly believe in them at all.

We need to steer clear of this poverty of ambition, where people want to drive fancy cars and wear nice clothes and live in nice apartments but don't want to work hard to accomplish these things. Everyone should try to realize their full potential.

I have seen, the desperation and disorder of the powerless.

Today we are engaged in a deadly global struggle for those who would intimidate, torture, and murder people for exercising the most basic freedoms. If we are to win this struggle and spread those freedoms, we must keep our own moral compass pointed in a true direction.
~ Barack Obama

A trial...

...which the world is watching! Trial of a doctor but who happened to be a human rights activist too! Trial that is going on, now for 22 long months. Trial which is not seeing any ray of hope. A trial that does not qualify this doctor to get bail because he is such a serious threat to the nation because he worked for the tribal communities which should never really qualify for basic rights, resources, or health care. Trial in a nation which reserves bails & justice for only stars like Sanjay Dutt and the likes. Trial which likes to ignore the worldwide recognition or the plea from Nobel laureates. A trial that has risen above all this to protect the nation from a threat of its kind from this doctor! Rightfully so!

A trial of its kind which does not want to know that his health is deteriorating!

Sen’s condition is deteriorating. His heart is not doing too well. He is hypertensive and suffering from an untreated prostrate ailment, needing medical care. He has asked the court several times to permit him private care at his own expense. The court will not grant it. Sen said to the judge, “Sir, my condition is deteriorating. I could suffer a heart attack any moment.” The judge was not moved. On the other hand, the police are making every attempt to make things difficult by restricting Sen’s visiting rights. Save family, no one is allowed to meet him. There is no procedure in the jail manual or Prisons Act which allows this. But it is still being done. The might of the state prevails.

Hope the trial wakes up before it's too late to avoid the load of mockery of failed judicial system of a nation which harps for its democracy. Till then people will raise their voice in every possible way!

Crazy love or crazy denial...

...of a woman? I think, women are so eager to believe and feel that they are in this perfect heavenly love that they take a long time to accept that they are actually in a physically or emotionally abusive relationship. Leslie Morgan Steiner talks about her true story. "He worshipped me and denigrated me at the same time," she explains.

Full story here. Do listen to her here.

She is...

(Pre script: It’s no secret or a surprise anymore that I am a feminist, so here we go…)

Post contd…

...a tramp, bimbette, bimbo, harlot, strumpet, slut, play girl, call girl, hooker, moll, streetwalker, bar girl, stripper, tart, camp follower, bawd, scarlet woman, courtesan, strumpet. She is called by all these names because a woman whose birth goal was only to satiate swinging levels of desires of men from time to time. Some eye-candy “pleasures”, some physical “pleasures” and pleasures all the way. Hell, has she been objectified for libido blame transfer?! (Do we have such an elaborate adjectives listing for men?)

So who is a tramp or a slut or a tart or pick any adornment from above list that is given by not-so-fair sex? Any woman who has big breasts or just breasts? Any woman who has perfect hour-glass body or just nice cleavage or nice shaped legs to pierce your gaze into? What is it, really? No seriously, I ask? List is endless and the guy would want to do her desperately with mighty desperation but such a slut does not qualify for respect or marriage or respectful relationship. If she does not consent to play any role of choice then just fuck the shit out of her and rape her, right??

OK…what triggered my blood to boil and anger to seethe so much so that I had to make my point and not so subtly this time? I heard a conversation of TV/movie junkies and one said, “Bay Watch, Ooooooh yeah!!! Pamela Anderson is a kind of girl I would want to do…you know…but she is not the kind of girl whom you take to your mom.” I sat there, heard, as my fist tightened, eyes widened and I breathed heavily through my nose in anger. I gulped my frustration over this since I have decided not to be aggressive on every instance!

So what is it with this hypocrisy? Because no one sees it or no one says it or it’s just not even worth mentioning for this second rate citizenry of humanity? Was she born only for first rate citizens to fit into any role that he may wish for? Sometimes a slut, a stripper and on different scenarios, a good girl who can be a wife, a mother or mother of his kids? All various existences desired should be mutually exclusive and shall not be combined under any circumstances. Her roles are pre-defined and her destiny is the deciding factor which bucket she will fall in to. Mind you, she does not have a choice of her own but merely an option to choose from.

I have not understood the stigma that women have to carry in providing sex- services either by consent or force, when the stigmatization essentially should be borne by men which is driven by their desires, right? Think about it, tomorrow, guys who go to women for sex are called prostitutes, or those who go to see flesh for friendly banter are called strippers, or guys who ogle at hot chicks are called tramps.

Sigh!!

Rahman...

...wins Oscar for Slumdog Millionaire which wasn't his best work but he truly deserves all the recognition. This and much much more with the talent he has swept Indian music for over a decade now. Such brilliance! classy to say the least...

Have been trying to like Dilli 6 music. Again not his best...but I loved this one....wow!!

07 - Genda Phool -...

Sensation to get poverty noticed...

So Hollywood fame has become the stepping stone for reality to hit home? Slumdog Millionaire and all the hype around it, gets me wondering if sensation is essential to accept grim realities? Lot of things depicted in the movie are exactly how things are in Mumbai slums. But I had trouble accepting that children who go through such atrocities of maiming, child labor, dismal proverty or prostitution ever end up being so hopeful and cheerful in life and almost none had a broken spirit. Overall the movie was nice but at the end, I cringed about misrepresentation through sensationalization of poverty and the related misfortune that comes along with it. Watch The Reader and you would come back awestruck and shaken about everything in it. Absolutely stunning movie!

Anyway, read this:

Azharuddin Mohammed Ismail, 10, and Rubina Ali Qureshi, nine, who play the lead characters in their younger years, currently live in shacks in the Garib Nagar slum in Bandra East, Mumbai. But Amarjit Singh Manhas, the chairman of the Maharashtra housing authority, told the Times of India: "We felt that since the children have made the nation proud, they must be given free houses."

Is that really a matter of nation's pride? Because I'm not sure, if I feel that way. So all those kids who couldn't get lucky enough to feature in Slumdog Millionaire can take rest because we need Hollywood's sensation to accept and do something about gross realities of India. Don't you think , right intention to do something is as important as the right action?

Cultural corruption?

Firstly, my logical brain, seriously does not understand the urgent need to have a day to express your love when you can do it all year long. Can you imagine, if you have to hold your romance for 364 days to express on 365th day. If any normal human being has to contain so much love & affection that we have around for only one day, I, for sure will implode if not allowed to explode. Jokes apart...

So, the self-appointed moral police threatened (and then got arrested) everyone who wished to celebrate v-day. They call this celebration un-Indian, uncouth, uncivilized. Agreed! I so agree...

So, what is being culturally civilized Indian entail? This, this or this?

I want to know the answer because I do want to continue to be an Indian.

I ask, where is the moral police where all this is happening.?!?! I think they are smart enough to know, where the popularity gain is! They too are media hungry and Indian media surely fulfills that greed.

Shook it up...

"Fidelity": Don't Divorce... from Courage Campaign on Vimeo.

Tell the Supreme Court to invalidate Prop 8.

Were you abused?

At the risk of being labeled a crusader of feminism, I will explain why it is important to express, if you experienced, faced, witnessed or were a silent observer of any form of abuse to womankind. Abuse is not just physical or claims more damage but even seemingly passive abuse (I will explain this later in the post) is equally harmful. I am willing to share real life examples if need be.

Several months back, I was asked to share a personal story about my experience of any kind of abuse that I faced, as a girl. The email was sent to a close group of women (volunteers) under a cover of complete trust. Email sat quietly for 2 days begging for a response. But then, there was one response, and then the second one and by third one it dawned to me that it was not something that happened to me only, which I had completely forgotten under the cloud of shame and guilt. And that was the beginning of my self-chosen suppression, as a tiny girl, as early as being a seven years old child, without even knowing what it was. Each woman in the group had a horrid & a heartbreaking story and perpetrators were sometimes strangers but a lot of times family members, uncle, cousin, brother, husband, boyfriend & fiance'. This fact is not so important but it highlights one point, that it is everywhere and can happen to anyone by anyone.

What did this exercise do to me?

It strongly reaffirmed my faith that it is important to speak up, share and form a trusted network of people and bring out these horrifying examples to awareness, beyond a complicated burden of social pressure. I realized that there are far more basic rights to acknowledge & protect, before we go on for fancier issues. We love to dwell in popular issues and causes. Big names & popularity attracts human psyche.

I personally know a girl who even after discovering that her fiance was cheating in a relationship and had several physical relationships outside their promise, ended up marrying the guy. My guess is that the monumental pressure of society to break the engagement and speak loudly about the cheating was too big a burden. Society does not provide a very stable system to deal with such adept disrespectful behavior. Instead, we facilitate such deplorable examples with silence, indifference or its "not my problem" attitude. How many people can really do this?

I will keep my promise to explain passive abuse. We all accept that rape, gang rape, sexual assault etc. can be very damaging to a woman. Affected women are devastated and damages are more or less irreversible. But so are other forms of abuses. Groping, feeling, touching, flashing, staring, and stalking etc. can also form a sense of inadequacy and shame.

The other day I was in a deep discussion with a set of my friends and it started with Mumbai attacks, went on to economy and then ended up on physical abuse. As I started giving examples, the girl in a group announced that if I ever have a daughter, I would never want to raise her in India and her voice went heavy and eyes welled up. She recounted her own childhood story and then another friend's. It clearly means that none of us can ever forget, no matter how many years pass by and where we go and we are emotionally battered for rest of our lives. The guys to my surprise, always get surprised when they hear such revelations. His angry tone suggested that he thought of it as extremely unfair and he suggested that why do women not talk about these things more openly and form a stronger support group. I said such efforts are everywhere, its a matter of proactively joining hands and to make it more successful.

Coming back to passive abuse, anything that causes pain or hurts beyond the tangible and visible wounds are also methods of abusing. Lying, cheating, hiding facts, avoiding response, comparing, mocking, blaming, being disrespectful or infidelity of any degree can be very harmful too, it leads to emotional abuse. Since, these aspects are soft and hard to pin-point openly, it makes it even more easy for the perpetrators.

Perpetrators harbor on this weakness that the victim will never openly speak-up and they use this fact to their advantage. This makes it all the more critical that more victims acknowledge and speak-up and grow this network strong and stronger. child-abuse is a good example of this.

We are so intricately and organically connected to each other and the issues that we simply cannot work with the mindset that "oh but it doesn't affect me so it's not my problem." Injustice anywhere is injustice everywhere and explicitly or implicitly it will make itself clear. So our isolated "just" presence can be temporarily soothing and can make us short-sighted & prevent us from looking at things more holistically, beyond the "I" zone.

With all that said, I hope none of us will suppress the wrong under the garb of guilt and shame in future. Don't go silent and accept it as your destiny because you were born as a girl.

I will sign off with something Ms.Roy said:

To love. To be loved. To never forget your own insignificance. To never get used to the unspeakable violence and the vulgar disparity of life around you. To seek joy in the saddest places. To pursue beauty to its lair. To never simplify what is complicated or complicate what is simple. To respect strength, never power. Above all, to watch. To try and understand. To never look away. And never, never, to forget. ~Arundhati Roy

Rozaana......

Rozaana..I like..do not particularly dig the start of the song (may be it's got to do with B's voice..was never a fan of neither his acting nor his voice and never really could understand the hype about him. No, seriously!)..but as it picks the pace...love the lyrics...it forms a great song for my runnin'...[which I have been royally ignoring...(sheepish grin)...] collection!

Rozaana - Nishabd ...

Big guys...

Gandhi, Tagore, Ambedkar argued..

"that it is our capacity to be moral that allows us to constitute ourselves as a people and nation.The purpose of democracy is to widen the scope of virtue in the public realm. A modern corporate, however ethical, is not a civilisation whose objective is to allow each person to elevate moral life."

But what the heck did they know....Narendra Modi is on the roll (& [in]sane peeps keep nagging him) and that is why we love him..and can never get enough of him.

Because after all, we don't like barbaric killing to soothe our conscience and it's too much on your face kind, you know but soft killing and sleek corporate cleaning of tribal and farmers is acceptable, since they constitute waste anyway and form stigmatic presence to our modernity. Yes, I love to be modern!

P.S.: Something terribly wrong with my blog formatting setting. Help is welcome or else hold your peace till I figure it out!

AIDS Sutra: Dark side of the night

Array of emotions race through piecing together vignettes of untold stories of nights filled with wretched desire, power, ostracized and suppressed emotions and a glimpse of fractures of alienated society. Some familiar, some eye-opening but mostly unacknowledged stealthy existence as we hear about AIDS epidemic, moving as swiftly as the speed we are diluting our value-system. Each voice in stories carries a resigned acceptance through broken spirit and sends a reminder of societal follies and failures we have chosen with arrogance of ignorance. AIDS Sutra, Untold Stories from India carries deadweight of all this and much more from isolated world of “India Shining” development.

Human dominance over nature, technological breakthroughs and other human beings has been a running theme over generations. Slavery is a direct consequence of it and so is thriving prostitution and coerced sex industry. With time, hierarchical power structure has exchanged role with monetary power. Hence Devdasis have been renamed as sex workers/prostitutes or something fancier I am not even aware of. I see AIDS epidemic as merely a consequence of something deep rooted in a pretentious model of precarious civilized society. Spread of HIV is directly linked to one of most persistent propensities (but widely undermined and lacking explicit acceptance) of repressed egos of human beings-sex.

Snippet from introduction of the book, “There were about a dozen women there, wearing their best saris, gold necklaces, flowers in their hair and bindis on their foreheads.” “This group of women had all been ostracized by their families and neighbors. One woman had hoped to keep her work a secret from her husband and children. But when word got out, her daughter was disowned by her friends. The girl was so distraught that she committed suicide.”

As I see from “society” perspective on flesh business, we cannot live without your existence but we cannot accept your presence of services you provide. Such is the dogmatic hypocrisy we have become comfortably numb with. Calling it shamelessness would be too harsh because after all, women are born to titillate the libido senses with good looks before they surrender their body.

Amartya Sen points out in his foreword of this anthology, “ since epistemology is so central to a well founded ethics- to informed reflections on the social and political commitments that the calamity inescapably demands. If we move from depiction to perception and from reflection to compassion and resolution, all this happens, as in good literature, without self-conscious effort. This is a huge achievement.”

Kamathipura (Mumbai), Sonagachhi (Kolkata), Peddapuram (Andhra Pradesh) are all different hues of the same pale shade of diseased poverty. And contemporary authors like Kiran Desai, Salman Rushdie, Sonia Faleiro, Siddharth Deb and many more have traveled, heard, experienced the dejected side of dark & small rooms and prettied/decorated faces to bring out pulsating and deeply moving stories.

Few snippets from the stories:

We are famous because we are the descendants of courtesans and royalty, so we have that poise, those fine looks,’ the Kalavanthalu women say. No special tricks? No Tricks. We are known for our good manners. We treat a man like a king. We’;; cook non veg, we’ll give oil massages and baths. We turn on the fan. The men bring the whiskey, the McDougal’s-but everything else we provide, and when they leave we beg, Don’t go, please don’t, oh, don’t go, oh..’ we do all of that play acting. We spoil them.

Night Claims the Godavari- Kiran Desai

It’s worth emphasizing the way prostitute was regarded at the time, and indeed in ancient India. If a woman was beautiful and talented; if she could sing, dance or converse intelligently, why should she waste her skills on one man alone? Why shouldn’t a number of men enjoy her company? That is why a prostitute was called barnari or barangana- meaning public woman.

Return to Sonagachhi- Sunil Gangopadhyay

Of course, there are times when there is pleasure,’ said Rani Bai. Who does not like to make love? A handsome young man, one is gentle..’ She paused for a moment, looking out over the lake, smiling to herself. Then her face clouded over: ‘But mostly it is horrible. The farmers here, they are not like the boys of Bombay.’ And eight of them every day,’ said her friend Kaveri. ‘Sometimes ten. Unknown people. What kind of life is that?’ ‘We have a song,’ said Rani. ‘Everyone sleeps with us, but no one marries us. Many embrace us, but no one protects.’

The Daughters of Yellamma- William Dalrymple

Allow me to shake your faith...

She says and she does if you happen to read Greater common good. Fight for justice, Narmada Bachao Andolan, which has made to become symbolically a solemn farce for decades in name of developmental jargon promises to millions who get affected. I will leave the rest but couple of things as Roy puts it, are worth reiterating ...

Misinformed Emotionalism is about our presumptuous paradigm for development that it's based on inherent morality. It would work perfectly, if only we were better human beings. If only we all wore khadi & suppressed our base urges- sex, shopping, dodging, spinning lessons & being unkind to the less fortunate.

Assumption of inherent morality is a very risky path, I realized it. I do not deny that few don't have it. But large numbers are driven otherwise.

Revolutionary Road ahead

She surprised love. All grand serene romance, she held closely....tucked in those warm moments...some spilled out of her hands...some contained tight. Sure she was...confident not.

Snow didn't seem so white...melancholy was pristine. She shrugged off those romantic gestures a few times or so she thought.

She dived deeper in those brown eyes looking for the man she had once, ecstatically fallen for. Surprise! Conviction was missing this time, convincing could do little. She did not know, time role-played in emotional erosion, covering with those layers of not so sanctimonious gestures.

She penetrated truth, raced ahead, ran away or did she? She is at the finish line, all by herself, though. She is afraid to turn her head...his warm, amber, sparkling, sand-grains filled smile she wants to hide from.
........
Saw this movie, y'day...
Echoing similar sentiments was Revolutionary Road...a couple once fell deeply in love in a quick glance. He (Frank) settled for less, is weaker, but winds up disappointing his wife, April, who is ambitious, emotionally trapped and struggling with a man whom she wants him to be but he is not. Sensational and dramatic turmoil of human emotions for wanting to love or be loved in their own way, where, neither are sure. Not sure, Whether they are running away from the perfection of suburbia life they have or from each other. Poignant desperation leads to void attempts of exploring..explore, they do. They were not made for each other, she could not salute the fact her man is not the best self and cannot be his best self, ever.

Raj Thackeray...

Shut up, shut up, SHUT UP!! If you are left with any shame and tiny bit of "Marathi madoos" blood..dont ever come out of your hiding. We have heard enough of your crappy nonsensical bull, so I think now you can take a break and may be go for some meditation or rehab center (which I think you really need) and let the real brave "Indians" take charge of nation just the way they remarkably did in controlling the terror attacks and rescuing all those valuable lives in which many were from Maharashtra too. For them they were just Indians or human beings. Get it?

Raj Thackeray, while you are at it, I mean shutting your trap process, do some good to humanity & ask Narendra Modi to shut up too, who thinks offering 1 crore rupees to brave soldiers will wash his sins.

My Mumbai mourns..

yet again, as I write this! All those spots Nariman house, Oberoi's, Taj, VT station, Metro theater and Leopold's cafe where I hung out in college days. All these places and many more and my city bleeds again, screaming for justice and humanity. Mumbaikers are forced given this shock therapy that their lives are under constant menacing terror. The terror strikes are not confined to any one area, it's not just South Mumbai but has gone as far as, far suburbs of Borivali giving sense of depth & breadth of strikes.

I am sick of hearing that spirit of Mumbai will rise again within days. No, it will not! I know that Mumbai is a very lively city but it's not resilient to all that it goes through. We have to stop this farce! People of the city do not have a choice but to get up and gulp this bitter concoction (of dirty politics & religious divide) and get moving. Its not the spirit but the irony.

I was in Mumbai in 1993 and was close to one of the bomb blast locations. We were told to head back home and only after reaching home I realized the magnitude of what I had escaped. Sure, none of my family members were affected. Is that what we have to look for every time? Narrow escapes & safety for your own family and relatives? There were very valuable lives wiped out. What ensued after the blasts were horrific riots and days living in confinement of our home for many days.

And here we are, again! We are not able to recover from one and we are already into another mayhem. Every other year there is something to escape from. Haven't we maxed out with tolerance to get our voices together for peace? We cannot afford these losses anymore, can we?

Is this the event that is going to bring the political divide to unite & fight together as one nation ?

Amidst all the depressing news, Shashi Tharoor speaks bravely to sum up the sentiments of Indians.

Classy...

Inequality will always lead to imbalance

If we look at any kind of national, international or local inequality in distribution of any aspect, it will always lead to imbalance. It sort of relates to the law of nature as well. This imbalance will always lead to disturbance and depending on the magnitude things will fall apart, eventually, if not sooner than later. Be it America claiming its supremacy over the world or Raj Thackarey claiming his ownership over Maharashtra hence Mumbai, racism, suppression of genders, wealth & slavery. The list is long! If there is uneven distribution of resources, wealth or well being, it is bound to collapse the system. This talk by P.Sainath resurfaced again and he is so right about the disparity which is flourishing.

His point of how the generic notion of charity is perceived is remarkable. He says, charity, generally is a thing perceived as a favor towards underprivileged and its not identified something fundamentally wrong in the system which led to this inequality. Till people accept that I am hoarding more than I need, it will never lead to harmony. And unless we share things as a "right" to everyone rather than rich or strong providing it as a favor to less mighty, we can keep fighting!

Money & the crisis of civilization

Read this intriguing article on Charityfocus. Striking, how we are now constantly growing around the concept of money so much so that everything we do or think of doing should somehow translate to generation of money. We have now done this long enough that our thinking is shunned and its dire consequences are showing in the form of global crisis we are in. We have commercialized our happiness, education, food and anything you name it. Now we are running out of ideas for things we can monetize. We have accepted that as a form of bestowed culture, as a way of life. So, beware, if you do not hold monetary value in your existence, you probably have no value in the current system!

Think for this for a minute (snippets from the article),

"Essentially, for the economy to continue growing and for the (interest-based) money system to remain viable, more and more of nature and human relationship must be monetized. For example, thirty years ago most meals were prepared at home; today some two-thirds are prepared outside, in restaurants or supermarket delis. A once unpaid function, cooking, has become a "service". And we are the richer for it. Right?"

Or

"Today we sell away the last vestiges of our divine bequeathment: our health, the biosphere and genome, even our own minds. This is the process that is culminating in our age. It is almost complete, especially in America and the "developed" world. In the developing world there still remain people who live substantially in gift cultures, where natural and social wealth is not yet the subject of property. Globalization is the process of stripping away these assets, to feed the money machine's insatiable, existential need to grow. Yet this stripmining of other lands is running up against its limits too, both because there is almost nothing left to take, and because of growing pockets of effective resistance."

There is a risk that developing countries are facing now, if they don't board this fast train of "development" they are being labeled and libeled as third world countries.

Tuesdays with Morrie

I read this book in one go! It's a wonderful read. You will agree with me if you have already read it..if not, here are few quotes by Morrie, a terminally ill professor on various facets of life:

Have you found someone to share your heart with?
Are you giving to your community?
Are you at peace with yourself?
Are you trying to be as human as you can be?


Well, for one thing, the culture we have does not make people feel good about themselves. We're teaching the wrong things. And you have to be strong enough to say if the culture doesn't work, don't buy it. Create your own. Most people can't do it.


So many people walk around with meaningless life. They seem half-asleep, even when they're busy doing things they think are important. This is because they are chasing the wrong things. The way you get meaning into your life is to devote yourself in loving others, devote yourself to your community around you, and devote yourself to creating something that gives you purpose and meaning.


You closed your eyes. That was the difference. Sometimes you cannot believe what you see, you have to believe what you feel. And if you are ever going to have other people trust you, you must feel that you can trust them, too- even when you're in the dark. Even when you're falling.


Do you take care of others or take care of your "inner child"? Return to traditional values or reject tradition as useless? Seek success or seek simplicity? Just say No or Just do it?


Love each other or perish. And its so true. Without love, we are birds with broken wings.


There is no experience like having children. That's all. There is no substitute for it. You cannot do it with a friend. You cannot do it with a lover. if you want to experience of having complete responsibility for another human being and learn how to love and bond in the deepest way, then you should have children.


I thought about how often this was needed in everyday life. How we feel lonely, sometimes to the point of tears, but we don't let those tears come because we are not supposed to cry. Or how we feel a surge of love for a partner but we don't say anything because we're frozen with a fear of what those words might do to the relationship.


I don't want to leave the world in a state of fright. I want to know what's happening, accept it, get to a peaceful place, and let go.


On Morrie working with mental patients:
Morrie observed that most of the patients there had been rejected and ignored in their lives, made to feel that they didn't exist. They also missed compassion-something that staff ran out quickly. And many of these patients were well-off, from rich families, so their wealth did not buy them happiness or contentment. It was a lesson he never forgot.


All this emphasis on youth- I don't buy it, he said. Listen, I know what a misery being young can be, so don't tell me its so great. All these kids who came to me with their struggles, their strife, their feelings of inadequacy, their sense that life was miserable, so bad they wanted to kill themselves...


Its all part of the same problem, Mitch, Morrie said, we put our values in the wrongs things. And it leads to very disillusioned lives.


We have got a form of brainwashing going on it our country. Morrie sighed. Do you know how they brainwash people? They repeat something over and over. And that's what we do in this country. Owning things is good. More money is good. More property is good. More commercialism is good. More is good.


Money is not a substitute for tenderness, and power is not substitute for tenderness.


There's a big confusion in this country over what we want versus what we need. You need food, you want a chocolate sundae. You have to be honest with yourself.


Do the kind of things that come from the heart. When you do, you won't be dissatisfied, you won't be envious, you won't be longing for somebody else's things.


We are great at small talk: What do you do? Where do you live? But really listening to someone- without trying to sell them something, pick them, recruit them, or get some kind of status in return- how often do we get this anymore?


I've learned this much about marriage, you get tested. You find out who you are, who the other person is and how you accommodate or don't.


There are few rules I know to be true about love and marriage: If you don't respect the other person, you are gonna have a lot of trouble. If you don't know how to compromise, you're gonna have lot of trouble. And if you can't talk openly about what goes on between you, you're gonna have a lot of trouble. And if you don't have common set of values in life, you're gonna have a lot of trouble.


Biggest one of those values: Your belief in the importance of your marriage.


I think marriage is a very important thing to do, and you're missing a hell of a lot if you don't try it.


Love each other or perish.


You can't get stuck on the regrets of what should have happened.


Death is as natural as life. It's part of the deal we made.


Death ends a life, not a relationship.

The Big Power Question

When two "intellectuals" ( I should actually say American Intellectuals, yes, with all the sarcasm intended) present their point of view on current political and economical issues and its outcome on America's power struggle, the tinge of self-centered thinking is hard to miss beneath the layers of intelligence. Here

Yes, I have trouble with this statement!

Zakaria: Are we going to run second in this race?

or this for that matter...

Friedman: The game is still open. I want my country to win it--I'm not sure it will.

Misled

Are we...in name of liberation/freedom? How did we ever come up with a ruthless concept of war? I am in tears & speechless after watching this documentary..!! I wanted to scream WT* and I did but it was a helpless one as these misled girls are...Who says human beings are humane?

Go Blue!

Like any other alien in US I also saw all the presidential debates including the one that took place yesterday. Now, you may ask why? Well, you don't want to be a social outcast when the whole of United States is going bonkers with analysis and over analysis of upcoming elections. Kidding! I have recently developed interest in politics. Kidding again!

Now you don't want me to write my lame reasoning of why I was disappointed with Ms.Palin and McCain's ever growing negative allegations on Obama and why I am a true-Blue democrat. But there is something about Obama's striking composure & intelligence and something very real & earthy and radiating the shine of person who has seen hardship in life.. You may agree with me more if you read his book- Audacity of Hope. Thank you Sud for insisting that I read it!

What I noticed yesterday was that Barack is a left-hander..:)..I have more reasons to be biased now. This post is soon going to turn as a whine. Why? I was born as a left-hander and since for some God forsaken reason, it was considered bad, my mom insisted me to be a right-hander. I still remember my childhood days when I used to draw on the wall with my artistic left hand.. I got scolded for both, writing on wall and with left hand. So in the process, I forced switched my hand for writing with right but rest of the work is still with left hand. I am now one of those artificial hybrids who are neither here nor there. I am not even truly ambidextrous since I cannot write with my left hand. All my sports activities are with left hand. Identity crisis, you see!

Coming back to Barack the Obama man, I read this story today, I felt that may be there is still hope for Americans after all the mess (of greed and insatiable hunger of power) that Bush has royally created for his successor for past 8 years. Now, I don't expect magical/radical changes in short time since the mess is pretty messy but there is still hope in Obama's reformative thinking.

Ode to Nusrat

It took me a while to enjoy the pure form of classical qawwali rendition/music by Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan. I used to indulge in a lot of poppish version of his music earlier, until someone (special) pointed to me what I was really missing. For one I was missing on the true trance feeling and it gradually grew on me. It sure did! I still struggle to understand the lyrics to most of the songs but I somewhat figure out the overall feel of it..so there is no looking back from this genre which has entered my bucket of eclectic music.

NFAK - Sanoon Bhul...

Connection between spirituality & Social action

Think about all the kindest things you have done as a result of responding to inner voice when there was smallest bit of injustice, inequality or disparity. You will soon realize the true and the most honest efforts were due to the connection of you placing in the same spot as the one who was suffering. I have to still come across a person or a medium who is truly not spiritual or compassionate and tried to work for a cause. All that superficial have often proved temporary and they dissipate before you even flutter your eyes in realization.

As Vimala Thakar says in ijourney.org "The fact of our being is that we are related, not isolated, not each a lone or lonely entity standing forlorn in this huge cosmos. We are not isolated individuals; we are organically related to the mysterious totality surrounding us."

Few things that I have tried in the past in the process to understand what it feels like to be on the receiving end of suffering. I have tried to stay hungry for couple of days. But in those struggling moments of hunger pangs I still knew that I had easy access to food whenever I felt like giving up this exercise. The thought of that ease not available is worrisome and that was a realization of my privileged life that I have and people who are forced to stay hungry.

Not buying anything for an entire year made me go through the importance of using things till they get over, recycling and reusing. I realized I have everything I need if I start looking through that I already have. There is a difference in not buying when you know you can when you want to than not able to buy even if you really need important things for survival. The whole world we have created is based on materialistic possessions and a lot of it is generated from an earnest need of that social connection. My phone, my car, my branded clothes, restaurants, movies I go to and so on. My life is a lot simpler now. I still succumb to lot of material possessions and later go through a self-questioning phase of guilt.

I have also tried staying quiet for couple of days and this was a true revelation in power I found in silence. This power enabled me to listen to my inner voice, voices of others, I was not trying to prove anything to anyone, anymore, my grudges soon disappeared, I was connecting more to people and surrounding and more importantly there was a powerful connection I found within myself and my mind.

All these that I have been experimenting have only made me realize that we need much much less than we think or are made to think from the surroundings. If we really realize all these needs and have made a conscious effort to balance amongst others as well, there will be lot more available to others. So my journey continues...

Do you trust?

Past weekend, I had an opportunity to meet with a professor, in an informal setting. Amidst a lot of din and anxious clamor, her's was the only voice that stood out in my head vividly. She made her point calmly with conviction. I have believed in expressing one's point and let people have freedom of taking or not and hence not interfering with others cognition. Somehow, thrusting or screaming one's opinion or thinking (for that matter) seems very self oriented. And, it fundamentally loses the purpose of expressing for others.

She spoke about trust and said trust essentially is an ongoing process which you are always continuously building on. So it's not a one time concretion but a dynamic combination of thinking and feeling. Human nature is to anchor amongst others with trust and faith, which however gets disturbed in the process where things do not align and the process of questioning and re-building begins. Hence, I think, need of assurance, acceptance and expressing support (at all times or from time to time) is critical. Think about it, a child is not born with mistrust and doubts. It's the process of growing up in a complex setting and assimilating social environment which can form his/her opinion in a right or not-so-right direction.

I had once shattered my faith and trust at a much deeper level and the process of restoring and healing has been hard but to what it was when the hurt was fresh, it is remarkable to see where I stand now. I surprised myself by expressing my deepest fears and insecurities to a person whom I had not even met before ever. I felt a sense of immediate trust and comfort of friendly & trustworthy bond and next thing I know I was sharing some crucial information of my life along with many other conversations that I had. Is the dark night of mistrust and broken faith over for me?

Mental workout for motivating physical workout

Been terribly busy in recent times and consequently blog baby has suffered to which most of you will agree. So, while I have conveniently nestled into the work world, I have taken advantage of ignoring a lot of favorite things. I have ignored sports, running, recently yoga and anything that used to give me excitement of a good workout. Its not that I have not tried but the efforts have always been disparate, few and not to mention inconsistent. The guilt has been traumatizing and has resulted in gain of few inches. This has resulted in paranoia and resistance in acceptance.

I am blessed with no-fat body and I look up and still thank the dude up! But off-late I realized that things are not going to stay the same without acknowledging with regular trips to calorie burnout. So I do it~and then get sucked into extra commitment of volunteer work and all the related jazz. And it consequently suffers my perfectly laid grand weekly plan. Yes, I do that a lot...:). It sounds simply terrific in plan and execution of 4 times yoga and 3 times run falls apart and I accept it graciously with a grin.

So these days, I often dream about lot of wonderfully beautiful things along with perfectly trimmed belly for which I make plans too. So today morning I saw it clearly, vividly all that is possible but only hitch was, it was after all a dream! I woke up in ghastly reality and realized there are still inches to fight...:). send me wishes that I stick to my above mentioned plan!

On a separate note, Here are couple of my favorite songs. Please note that I am not fond of the videos but lack of just the songs online, I had to dig You tube so bear with the graphical aspect of it and let me know if you have any more resources for hosting only songs.

Your body is a wonderland & Ankhiyon ke jharokhon se

Regret

To regret is
to think it was wrong

To think it was wrong
is to know it that it shouldn't have been

To know it shouldn't have
is to know what should have been

To know what should have been
is to know the unknown

To know the unknown
is that even possible?

Learn and not repeat the same mistake is probably the path I want to follow!

Serendipities

The Sun was unusually pale today
things moved surreptiously unlike other days

Few drizzles added the mystery of rain
I gazed up in unknown anticipation

The wind got droplets or two to my eyes
I was ambitious for the wet earth's smell

The breeze wrapped around me menacing my hair
as I combed my fingers through my hair tangles
pranced slower for a moment or two

I turned too to wander my gaze
I realized I miss you more on days like these!

The designers Accord

So I joined Designers Accord as an individual today and here is what they say, what it is...
"The Designers Accord is a global coalition of designers, educators, researchers, engineers, and corporate leaders, working together to create positive environmental and social impact."

In brief, here is what I say and if you go through the website, it will essentially tell you that they are asking everyone (and not just hand picked few) to live sensibly and in every possible way. Be it socially or environmentally so that we are sustainable enough in few years to come and many more for generations to come.

Here is one for Designers Accord!

The Fringe Benefits of Failure

J.K. Rowling, author of the best-selling Harry Potter book series, delivers her Commencement Address, “The Fringe Benefits of Failure, and the Importance of Imagination,” at the Annual Meeting of the Harvard Alumni Association. Here

"I would like to make it clear, in parenthesis, that I do not blame my parents for their point of view. There is an expiry date on blaming your parents for steering you in the wrong direction; the moment you are old enough to take the wheel, responsibility lies with you. What is more, I cannot criticise my parents for hoping that I would never experience poverty. They had been poor themselves, and I have since been poor, and I quite agree with them that it is not an ennobling experience. Poverty entails fear, and stress, and sometimes depression; it means a thousand petty humiliations and hardships. Climbing out of poverty by your own efforts, that is indeed something on which to pride yourself, but poverty itself is romanticised only by fools.

What I feared most for myself at your age was not poverty, but failure.

At your age, in spite of a distinct lack of motivation at university, where I had spent far too long in the coffee bar writing stories, and far too little time at lectures, I had a knack for passing examinations, and that, for years, had been the measure of success in my life and that of my peers.

I am not dull enough to suppose that because you are young, gifted and well-educated, you have never known hardship or heartbreak. Talent and intelligence never yet inoculated anyone against the caprice of the Fates, and I do not for a moment suppose that everyone here has enjoyed an existence of unruffled privilege and contentment.

However, the fact that you are graduating from Harvard suggests that you are not very well-acquainted with failure. You might be driven by a fear of failure quite as much as a desire for success. Indeed, your conception of failure might not be too far from the average person’s idea of success, so high have you already flown academically.

Ultimately, we all have to decide for ourselves what constitutes failure, but the world is quite eager to give you a set of criteria if you let it. So I think it fair to say that by any conventional measure, a mere seven years after my graduation day, I had failed on an epic scale. An exceptionally short-lived marriage had imploded, and I was jobless, a lone parent, and as poor as it is possible to be in modern Britain, without being homeless. The fears my parents had had for me, and that I had had for myself, had both come to pass, and by every usual standard, I was the biggest failure I knew.

Now, I am not going to stand here and tell you that failure is fun. That period of my life was a dark one, and I had no idea that there was going to be what the press has since represented as a kind of fairy tale resolution. I had no idea how far the tunnel extended, and for a long time, any light at the end of it was a hope rather than a reality.

So why do I talk about the benefits of failure? Simply because failure meant a stripping away of the inessential. I stopped pretending to myself that I was anything other than what I was, and began to direct all my energy into finishing the only work that mattered to me. Had I really succeeded at anything else, I might never have found the determination to succeed in the one arena I believed I truly belonged. I was set free, because my greatest fear had already been realised, and I was still alive, and I still had a daughter whom I adored, and I had an old typewriter and a big idea. And so rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life."

Something to think about, I know I have.

When Cities Sprawl

While I look at buzzing cities and fairytale or rather sci-fi kinda eruption of almost impossible concepts taking shapes in form of buildings, my first reaction is always awe. Awe not of fantasy but awe smothered with jolt. You will wonder why? I am always surprised at how these things are missing the human element, in consideration, in their reaction or even how they will adapt to such a built atmosphere. Do we keep them in mind as end user or it's more of a monumental and expensive experimentation by architects?

So, when I stumbled on this article this morning, I thought I would express my (long stashed) sentiments on larger than life urbanization. Some quotes from the article:

"Dubai, which lays claim to some of the world's most expensive private islands, the tallest building and soon the largest theme park, has been derided as an urban tomb where the rich live walled off from the poor migrant workers who serve them."

"Climbing to the top of one of Holl's towers, I looked out through a haze of smog at the acres of luxury-housing towers that surround his own, the kind of alienating subdivisions that are so often cited as a symptom of the city's unbridled, dehumanizing development."

"But is site specificity enough? "The amount of building becomes obscene without a blueprint," Koolhaas said. "Each time you ask yourself, Do you have the right to do this much work on this scale if you don't have an opinion about what the world should be like? We really feel that. But is there time for a manifesto? I don't know."

Not to belittle the magnificent craft (backed by science) by planners, developers and architects, but the question is, is the purpose and end user kept in mind? How they react to scale, new materials, gargantuan spaces, complex transitions in buildings or environment? Has the research indicated that people are adept to adapt the changes quickly? Have we given a sincere thought on how we would avoid creating socio-economic classes due to this? Or is equality a privileged concept for comforting discussions only?

Join the global protest

Update on yesterday's action! and I love protests!!..:)

Two destroyers of the world

Two motivations, which, when wrongly led, can work towards destruction of a balanced world are money and sex. Each one, if sought beyond rationale can lead to series of actions and deeds which will hinder the balanced existence, of self and surrounding environment as well.

Desire of money (means and end) tells a lot about person's values and standards that he or she carries. If the source is corrupt and you are not questioning it, you are damning your own existence. Is it that, money is received by fraud, pandering or by lowering standards? Are you feeding the needs of people which you would personally disdain? When the means are evil, it will essentially perpetrate more evil amongst the people who were taken for a ride. It can be a vicious cycle.

When somebody tells that sex is merely a desire of body and impervious to reasoning, they are essentially deriding the whole philosophical facade, which really isn't a facade. Its within us whether we accept it or succumb to denial of its presence. The way I look at this desire is the outcome of a human being's fundamental convictions. So the choice of seeking satisfaction is truly a reflection of a person's conviction and values he or she carries. A person will always be attracted to another person who reflects his/her deepest vision (or lack of it). There is ideally no conflict between the standards of person's mind and the desire of his/her body.

My 2 cents on two most overrated concepts and destroyers...

Desiderata

I know, I know, I have posted this poem here before but sometimes things are so wonderful that they deserve reverence of repetition. So here goes to one marvelously simple poem:

written by Max Ehrmann

Go placidly amid the noise and the haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.

As far as possible, without surrender,
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even to the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons;
they are vexatious to the spirit.

If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain or bitter,
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs,
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals,
and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love,
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment,
it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be.
And whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life,
keep peace in your soul.
With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful. Strive to be happy!

Peace out!

Classic spelling blunders

Being in architecture has its charm and one that cannot be alienated is the fact that you are always dealing with a lot of people at every step of the project. But thats beside the point. In my short span of work experience I came across two classic spelling fiascos.

First one, when somebody had mentioned "worehouse" instead of warehouse on the construction document set. When the set went to City official, he picked up the building code book to look for zoning for such a building type. Our perplexed office representative questioned the City about this move and he calmly explained that I want to confirm the occupancy and zoning for whorehouse. Can you imagine the humiliation that person must have gone through?!?!

Another catastrophe was when somebody in our office misspelled the client's business name from "SolFocus" to "SolFucus" on the drawings. Imagine its not mind fucked, thinking fucked but it's the soul fucked. There is nothing left beyond that. Its the ultimate disaster. You are pretty much screwed for life if that happens! Of course we had a good laugh on these incidences and still do reminiscing.

So next time, just run a spell check or just briefly glance over to what you type. It may save you a lot of fun and possible embarrassment. Be safe and less adventurous with alphabets.