Friday, July 27, 2007

Real or surreal?

There wasn't anything unusual about the day. Woke up really early today and without arguing too much in my head, I just followed the mundane routine and went to work. Drive was beautiful and thanks to AZ weather of late. Its been blessed with some overcast, thunderstorms and rains, unlike the usual cruel sunshine.
Wasn't too hungry during lunch so ended up doing some aimless browsing instead of eating. I heard a thud and just overlooked it as somebody loitering outside the huge office window which faces a busy road, till I heard a person in my office screaming , "oh my God!'. I casually turned to glance the cars, but little beyond that there was huge mass of black smoke engulfing fierce fire flames. I saw the fire growing touching the heights of the adjacent building. What did just happen? I couldn't move my eyes after that...there were cop cars siren restlessly running to reach the spot. The panic was disturbing. Everything else came to a standstill. But what really happened? Two news choppers collided, while covering a car chase by cops, above my office building and finally fell in a park across the road. Four people died in it.
Hearing or reading leaves a very different impact on our minds. It was horrifying and I felt some nervousness in my head and some inexplicable restlessness. My stillness and numbness was real. I was thinking of our small presence in grand scheme of things. We are so minuscule in the system and yet we run for power driven by need to get more. I was trying to imagine the aftermath of 9/11 and how atrocious it must have been for people who witnessed it. Life takes over us within a blink. Yet we still condition ourselves to run, to fight, to compete, to beat and sometimes forgetting the important "why"? I was trying to evaluate the worthiness of reporters attempt to get a coverage on the chase.
While walking to the garage after work I saw two cops standing around where a helicopter slice had fallen and they were collecting all the possible debris for the post analysis. I walked away with a heavy heart and a debating mind on series of emotions. I made home after a long struggle with jams. But here I am, still hurt with what I saw and pray for people who lost their loved ones. I wanted to go the gym today but I think I won't be able to!

Sunday, July 15, 2007

Degrees of cleanliness

I think I was the extreme, neurotic, clean freak psycho. Hence I look at the matter of cleanliness and clean surroundings very closely. I would be lying if I said I dont have my internal grading system for clean places and it applies to people as well. The grading is more critical when it comes to females. I give little bit of laxity to guys since its not just them to be neurotic about cleanliness. I am pretty ruthless when it comes to matter of messy spaces. Although, its become much less severe and I am decently tolerant, nowadays. This was not by choice but a realization that some people will be and they can have the right to be grossly messy just like I am the opposite. Based on my experience with all kinds of species. For convenience, I have developed my own scale from 0 to 3.

Type 0- I-really-dont-know-whats'-the-big-deal types. Yuckiest and the filthiest in the classification. Everything belongs to the floor. May it be food, book, shoes, money. Various spaces have no meaning. Grime is part of everything in use. The concept of cleaning is alien to them and under forced circumstances attempt cleaning, once a year or unless they are moving out and want to save their face. These types are prone to pests, always!

Type 1- I -would-love-to-but-then types. These ones have little shame and would act that it hurts them and support the cause while others do the cleaning. Cleaning intervals happen during festivals and some random strict guests appearances. Maintenance is zero so getting back to the riot mess is quick. These type act on unnecessary appearance of pests and would like them to be under control under manageable efforts or else blame it on life's tragedy and lack of time.

Type 2- Occasional-cleaning-does-not-hurt-me types. They will do periodic cleaning like any other things in life. Its mundane and makes me and others feel good. They are not the social outcast, which reminds me that type 0 should be...:). These type maintain somewhat logical order and follow a sane organization of things. I like these types.

Type 3- Everything-must-be-squeaky-clean types. Untidiness depresses them and they lose sense of direction in regular life if things are disarrayed. Everything has a spot and cleanliness is a religion they follow. They look down on people who keep them or their place dirty. Occasionally, they will have outburst of swallowed anger and frustration and will whine to who ever is willing to listen. They clean no matter what! Immaterial of the need to do so. They cannot sleep if things are not in order. They take pride in listening to compliments and pretend like oh so, its no big deal.

I think I used belonged to type 3 and have now somewhere moved to between 2 and 3. I am less paranoid and comfortable which probably is a good thing. It keeps me calm to maintain my serenity..:).

Wednesday, July 04, 2007

Vicious Generalization

Nasty argument with a co-worker led to this reflection. I was trying to explain him that there is no "western" or "eastern" philosophy and strictly "one nation" does not constitute all of western and seriously there are more nations to western bit than America to it. I did tell him "get over it, ownership of nation's success leads to stumping of personal growth." In fact, we are now marching, however slow, towards a global correct way of thinking movement. This need to own and grab is the first step towards devastation. Everything good is western or all western is good is a faulty expression. We have realized this with time. The boundaries of such demarcation are dissolving every minute. If converse was true, I would have been sitting on land of consummate, blissful nation. We all know that it may not be true. The nature and magnitude of problems vary in every scenario but they do exist in every nation.

Anyway, here is something I have believed or come to realize for a while is being reinforced by Tony Robbins in his talk here. With all the histrionics attached in his presentation he is still making some valid points and not to miss the interesting need of contributing.

Like always I astray, here is something interesting and sweet I read somewhere...

" You can imagine, then how he must have felt that soft purple twilight when his eyes first fell upon this strange creature, who seemed so quiet and gentle, yet in some way so strong, but most of all- so deep, not shallow. She gazed at him intently, not seductively or flirtatiously like all the other (girls), but clearly....and unafraid...until he felt lost in cool, green water. He returned her gaze and something happened. Later, neither of them was quite sure just what it was. They just knew it had happened."